A spider started to make a web in my house, 'cool' I thought, I'll take his photo for the blog. As I'd turned off the lights and headed to bed I walked into the web, fuck fuck fuck, really anoying for both of us. I was peeing and happened to look in the bowl (as one does) and there was the spider stroking his way to nowhere. 'Cool' I thought, an even better photo for the blog!
Was it the blazing flash of my paparazi ways or the fact that he was swimming in my pee that made his six little legs go limp after 30 seconds? I was fishing him out with the empty toilet roll tube (handy coincidence) and thought 'I was never going to flush'! I lifted him out of his watery grave when all of a sudden that little fucker came to life-faker! He swam his way to safety and up the side of the bowl to a place he knew I wouldn't go-the rim.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck, now I'm gonna have to flush him or the little bastard will make his encore during my next pee. What a dilema.
So I slept-dreaming he'd make his great escape during the night and morally let me off the hook. This morning I looked for him while peeing, then I flushed. I was concered I'd see him getting carried away, but children the moral of my little story is, of course, that I was the one who got carried away. Hence, no photo.