Boxing Day Bonus.

I intentionally don't lead a stressful life, so it's not like I sit in Makawao and think " I need to get away from it all”, but there is something to be said for walking out of your front door and in to another, where you are responsible for nothing but your own good time.

Even driving to somewhere as familiar as Hana, travelling by myself always gives me a little hit of self confidence and as someone once said, “confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can wear”. So as I headed East, listening via podcast to Michael Caine's Desert Island Disc's I could not have been more content.

For about a week now (in my head) I've seen myself sitting at Hamoa Beach, so once in Hana I headed straight there and matched my own picture perfectly. Chair precisely set up-body in the shade-legs in the sun, book in hand, camera within grasping reach (for Kodak moments like these) and then inwardly congratulated myself for a job well done.

Three hours later I packed up and headed back to my flower farm nest where I sat in the hot tub and recited out loud all the things I'm grateful for.....it took a while.

Hana Bay black sand magic.

Next stop was a Cosmo and some lovely Hawaiian music. I'd barely sat down at the bar when a lovely woman from the hotel came out of no where to ask me “Are you Sharon?”. “Yes”, I replied, perplexed and not yet on board with the ruse that was about to accost me. “Well happy Boxing Day and welcome to the Hotel Hana Maui”. My first thought was “blimey, talk about a full service hotel!”, especially given that I'd snuck in the Art Gallery entrance not even passing by the Front Desk. “So you've come to listen to the music?” she continued “and I know that traditionally you're supposed to be eating a Turkey sandwich, so I've asked the kitchen to see what they can do!” Bloody hell.........Michelle, the Manager on duty was good, very good!

As I began to recognize the words from my Christmas Day post I was sure my friend Cheyenne had called the Resort and told them to look out for me. Michelle floated off as serenely as she'd arrived and left me to ponder my extraordinary welcome, only to return with a Kukui Nut lei and CD of music recorded at the Hotel! “Who put you up to this?” I asked, not willing to let her leave again. I was truly puzzled as only two people knew of my plans, neither of whom could make it. She gently caved, “Well these are from Mark our GM who is English and he'd read your blog”, then she added “and now I know more than I'll ever need to know about Boxing Day”! “He's gone home for the night but I rang him and he said 'Say Hello to Hodgepodge ”.

How gobsmakingly ridiculously cool is that?!

As I sat there contemplating my luck, the man who'd gone home showed up. Enter the lovely and talented Mr.Mark Stebbings who confessed that having read my plans he thought “Oh I can have some fun with this one” and he did...hook, line and sinker. What I loved most was his knowledge that he could totally mess with a complete stranger, but what the hell - you have to figure another Limey's gonna appreciate a joke.... and appreciate it I did.

Ab Fab....note to self, must get more inventive with yanking friends chains. Thank you Mark for a job well done, you took it to another level my son, another level-oy and you still owe me a turkey sarnie PLUS a Hobnob now I know you have a stash!

Christmas Day.

A Christmas morning Skype sesh with my Mum for chats and pressie opening was a great way to start the day. To clarify....she is waving not flipping anyone off!

Christmas Day - 1000 Peaks. from Sharon on Vimeo.

Then with lunch and options packed I headed to 1000 Peaks for a SUP session. Notoriously the weather is rainy over the Christmas holiday, but not this year....it and the waves have been cooperating nicely.

If you look in between Giampaolo's legs, that's me!

Herbie goes surfing. Fact: At 26 I bought my very first car which was a VW Bug, it cost approximately $800 so I charged it on my credit card!

I bet this little one received all kinds of gifts for Crimbo, but there's nothing more exciting than combing the beach looking for creatures and shells.

Ufff, that plaggy bag contains gifts of another kind!

After my scrumptious lunch on a quiet beach under the shade of a palm tree (I kid you not), I headed to Honolua Bay to check out the surfing action. I was too lazy to tackle the viewing zoo on the cliff, so stayed at the overlook which provided an amusing rotation of Tourists standing under this sign.

This little inside bowl isn't that little, but compared to the outside it's a ripple.

What a day.

My friend Chico took some terrific shots of Honolua earlier this month. He does it purely for his own creative pleasure and despite us all telling him they are magazine worthy, he shakes us off as he has no interest in that.

Hey Meesh.....if you weren't in England I'd swear that was you duck diving in the tube!

And now it's Boxing Day, so I'm heading to Hana (as one does) to satiate my senses and play some more. When I pop into the Hotel Hana Maui tonight to listen to some lovely Hawaiian music, I'm crossing my fingers they'll have Turkey sarnies on the menu!

Iao Valley Ride

The Iao Valley walls are steep and as I pass houses built in the cool shadow of its ridges, I'm reminded of my Dad's fervent declaration that he'd never live in a house at the bottom of a hill. He was a pragmatic bloke, so nothing as new age as 'energy' or 'vibe' would have sufficed for his Yorkshire man's reasoning.....those are my terms. Though I did think today he was ahead of his time in the feng shui department. Iao has both a stunning beauty and a palpable intensity that (imho) only the thickest of skins would miss. Some say it's because of it's bloody history, I say listen to your instincts and (surprise-suprise) I don't live a the bottom of a hill either.

On my ride, I pass the house of a hundred palm buckets. Being a symmetry appreciator I always look forward to peddling by their impeccable orderliness. Sunday instead, I appreciated their seasonal touch and as a bonus, my parking lot starting point was filled with County of Maui vehicles, all of them white!

The Iao Needle is what everyone comes to see, but I was more interested in the locals who ignored the 'Please stay on the path' signs.

The stream below the Needle was rushing and swollen due to the early morning thunder and lightning, which had abieited by the time I'd finished my tea and toast. If that were me (which it never would be), I too would be limpet like and clinging to a warm rock as that mountain water is freeeeeeezing.

Cat napping in the sun, this wild moggy wasn't bothered one iota by the approach of a spandex wearing, camelback packing, ipod listening, bike dismounting paparazzi.

Further down the Iao Valley the rushing stream begins to trickle.....

.....and even there it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

Nature's way.

My SUP skills and the bigger surf that I'm not used to at Kanaha are mostly a mismatch. I flounder on the shoulder trying not to get in peoples way, paddling like mad for any old slop that peels off the main break. It's good for my balance but not for wave selection, turning practice or (lets face it) my ego. For Christmas I'd like a big pair of hairy balls, because without them I'm never going to venture into the line up and learn what I need to or perhaps, (here and there) show myself that I'm not as bad as I think.

Back on land I took solace and a little time for reflection with an good cup of coffee in Makawao. I've lived here since arriving on Maui 20 years ago and am genuinely fond of this one horse town, which has everything you need and nothing you don't.

Fueled by caffeine I jumped on my beautiful bike and tootled around the neighborhood enjoying the open spaces (be they fenced in) and solitude of Upcountry.

Ahhhhhh glorious nature, she never fails to put my head back on straight.

Yesterday, I walked past a lei making class and wished that the blogosphere had a scratch and sniff application, as the wafting fragrance of the plumeria was heady and calming. I shall recall it next time I'm out on the water to thwart any advances of my old friend frustration, should he choose to call. That and I'll remember that it's not a pair of big hairy balls I need (be careful what you wish for), but as Gandhi said "nearly everything you do is of no importance, but it is important that you do it".

The Good Life.

Mama's Fish House is an institution on Maui (be it an expensive one). Being beach front they have one of the best views of any restaurant I know. However, I don't frequent it for two reasons: One, I used to shag one of the waiters who (if I see him) is just way too sycophantic and two, to me no entree is worth paying $50 for.

Happily expensive meals, big rings, driving the right car and impressing others with my career climbing are just not my thing. I'm a woman who thrives in environments where the people are authentic and nature is abundant. Don't get me wrong, I like my creature comforts and love my cozy nest, but seeking joy and balance are the twin engines that propel me. Today on the water I said to a friend "I'm so happy right now, if I had a tail I'd be wagging it like crazy"! This West Maui Mountains pici was from yesterdays play time.

Sorry to rub it in given that Dec 12th doesn't look like this everywhere...

I'm a bit short on photos, so as I consider laughter another key ingredient for a good life I want to share this QI clip that I've watched a bunch of times and it never ceases to amuse me. Enjoy.

Peahi goes off.

Well the massive surf forecast did not show up, but it was still big (I'm guessing 30-35ft) and very beautiful. More of the same is forecast to today and it will start to diminish on Wednesday.

To give you a sense of perspective, there's a helicopter behind that spay. As there was barely an ounce of wind, that plume of mist is a great indicator as to the power of these waves.

The pineapple filed is as good a landing spot as any!

Double your pleasure, double your fun.....

Michelle surprised me by not going all the way up into the tree!

In an act boldness I'd called work to say I'd be in late, as to miss this swell would have been criminal. I was however riddled with guilt which (luckily) magically evaporated once I arrived. Of course, from another perspective one could say his act of boldness took slightly more courage than mine!

Bloody hell.

Ka-booooooom (for the uninitiated that's a technical surf term)!

Proof I was playing truant!

Just one more.....!

Calm before the storm.

Today saw the first nudge of the massive swell that will hit Maui tomorrow and when I say massive, I mean wave faces of 30-50 feet.....faces! Even NOAA says the Islands will have an extended period of 'giant surf' and is comparing the models to a 1969 swell. Jaws will be a bloody zoo tomorrow and I'd love to be a part of it but I have to f*@rking work.

Meanwhile, it was breathless today opposite Hookipa as the sugar cane ferns attest.

Back on the calm West side I had one of my best SUP sessions yet. Glassy waist to shoulder high waves with friendly encoraging surfers and plenty of sunshine. In SUPing years I reckon I'm a year old. I can walk with varying degrees of directional success, sit down (be it ungainly), I fall off less and less and what doesn't hurt or scare me is really, really exciting!

The BBC's theme this week for 'Your pictures' is trees. I might send this one in just for the heck of it.

Or maybe this one, as the the Kiawe tree has an interesting past. The original seed was brought over from Paris by a Catholic priest in 1828. It's been said this tree was further planted by missionaries to discourage the Hawaiian people from going barefoot, but their feet were so tough even these thorns didn't bother them.

Trust me....even with slippers on, those thorns bother me by going straight through the rubber and giving my delicate haole feet a nasty poke. On the upside though, kiawe wood is abundant and great for a BBQ.

The way I see it.

Upon waking this morning, my thoughts arose in the following order: "What a good sleep", "I think it's still early?", "yeah-I'm off today", "gotta pee", "wow-look at the moon", and (with ablutions completed) I slipped on my dressing gown and stepped outside for a digital moment.

Meanwhile, I was putting petrol in at the Shell station a few days ago and noticed I had company. As I stood there squeezing fuel with my left hand, my right brain was trying to figure out how to photograph my companions impressive shadow. Like a giant paparazzi I obnoxiously kneeled down right in her face and she quickly started advancing toward the shade. Before she made it this was the best shot I got.

At the back of Savers I was dropping off some old clothes and was momentarily mesmerized with joy at this simple and slightly asymmetrical vision.

MACC glass surrounds the parking lot trees and can often be found laying benignly in your parking space. Despite it's smoothed edges (and being the big girl that I am) I still avoid sitting my truck on top of it.

The Maui convertible. Shaka to you too Brah!

Pilgrim's progress.

Thanksgiving Eve saw massive surf that woke up the beast that is Jaws. I missed all the action due to work (why oh why can't these fronts come in on my days off?), but I received a nice consolation prize of a broody sunset at Hookipa.

The next day my mates Danny, Ian and Scotty hosted their classic annual Thanksgiving Day Paia Bay Invitational. These guys put a lot of juicy mojo into setting up a proper loosey goosey surf contest. There are of course rules, one of which is the judges must start drinking beer at 10:00am sharp!

Being spineless and crap at surfing, I fell into the professional spectator category (as did these people).

Ulli on the other hand is neither spineless nor afraid of big waves. This heady manouver (profuse apologies for the painful pun) advanced him to the second heat. (Pici nicked from Nayra Alonso).

It was not enough however to beat gorgeous ripper Tatiana (I think you can tell which one she is) who, despite not flashing her boobs was this years worthy winner.

Doggy style.

While I was enjoying the Wednesday evening sunset, Keevil-Wilson and Hayward Entertainment were digging an imu pit and sticking a Turkey and Ham in it for the post event soiree. What a fun night and probably the most delicious Turkey I've ever had. Standing O gents for all your effort and energy for (not only) putting on a surf competition, but feeding us all afterwards! Kitchen stats: 8 beautiful Brits, 1 wild Yugoslavian, 1 Frenchy frog, 1 Swiss Miss and just for the hell of it, 4 damn Yanks! (pici nicked from Danny Keevil).

It's here!

Having checked on craigslist every day for six months for a used mountain bike, I finally said "stuff it" and ordered a new one. Having not trail ridden in years, I gingerly snuck into the Makawao forest for the inaugural ride.

I took it easy, not only so my body could get used to the hydraulic disc breaks and dual suspension, but also because I'd slung my trusty camera on my back. At a sunny spot a few miles in to the loamy trail, I took a moment to catch my breath and shoot some pici's of my new bike. I worked it from every angle lovingly snapping away, oblivious to the two hikers that showed up! They said nothing-so I matched them saying nothing in return, but inwardly felt a twinge of embarrassment at being caught indulging in such an doting pastime. I put my lens cap on, my ear buds in, clipped my shoes into my pedals and cycled away wanting distance and solitude so I could enjoy my maiden ride without feeling self conscious.

I breathed in the changing scenery of the forest, enjoying the mercurial terrain beneath my wheels that went from leaves to mud to branches to packed dirt and back to leaves again.

After peddling for a while I jumped off again to appreciate the dappled light. While the forest caught my attention for a while, one glance at my bike had me snapping away once more and caught up in the bliss of the day. Then bugger me, if I didn't look up again to see the same two hikers walking my way, busted again! For the second time in half an hour I put my lens cap on, my ear buds in, clipped my shoes into my pedals and stealthily cycled away.

Views from the last few days.

Moist mountains and sun baked banana leaves. Climate duality occurs on many levels, the smallest of which is at my house where (honestly) it can drizzle at the back and be dry in the front.....and my pad is not that big.

This bench has certainly been exposed to the elements for a while, I like its beachy feel, minimalist lines and simple functionality.

I'm guessing these guys are more gardeners than carpenters.

Here are all our goods and chattels being sent off Island. Whole lives are in some of those containers, I know as I've helped pack (an unpack) a few of them in my time.

The art of picking the right wave in action.

I parked at around 11:00am for a SUP session. With my fair complexion this is never wise, but the early morning low tide forced me to play later than my skin normally desires. It got increasingly hotter and as my retinas burned an hour later, I felt like I was on a watery mirage seeing whale flukes that weren't there and then started singing in my head Mad Dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun.

It's rare that my eyeballs are the reason to end a session, but my optometrist was 'tut-tut-ing' in my head, "there's the start of sun damage in your left eye" she'd advised. I cursed her sensible finger wagging as I paddled in.

Rural roots.

The morning sun lit up these already bright yellow Starfruit, enough to make me stop and take a snap, plus at 'ten for a dollar' they were the deal of the day .

Ya know your life has turned rural when......

'Now that's a huge cock' is too predictable of a statement, but I'm feeling verbally lazy so that's what you get.

Talking of which, my neighbors have acquired a rooster that is situated a little too close to my bedroom window and I wake with its crowing in the wee early hours. I'm trying to figure out if it's the recent errant neighborhood cock that they've captured, or a new pet. Either way I'm debating my next move, one of which is crossing my fingers that they remove it before I have to knock on their door and fess up to not being a cock lover.

One stork of tuber rose is enough to transform the fragrance of a room in to a heavenly experience. At 50 cents a stork (and with three dollars in hand), my whole house smells positively divine.

Waves of fun.

Woah....

Ufffffff....

Blimey....

The dogs bollocks....

Stylie....

Well bastard fast....

Sweet...

Bub-bye.

Friends gone wild.

'Pubes gone wild' was the official name Michelle's absolute genius costume. (Mchumbie let me know if this one makes the Meesh file?)!

Not to be out done, Ulli (in an effort to regain his long lost youth) rigged his penis (the fake one) to rise and fall upon request.....which it did all night with the gusto of an 18 year old! We laughed our tits off, in fact Michelle literally did just that by losing a boob half way through the evening. Later it was rumored to have been seen lurking in one of the ladies loo's of our Paia pub crawl!

In a homage to Joe, one of Maui's favorite characters, Cheyenne blew kisses and boxed love around Paia, receiving an appreciative (and unprecedented) round of applause from the patrons at Milagro's. Some teenagers also heckled him and a random woman broke the ends of his cross, so next year he's vowed to dress as Ulli did this one!

I had stitched together a creative costume and stood admiring it (and myself) in the mirror all week. However, I made a fatal beginner mistake and neglected to road test said costume and as it was made out of CD's realized at the 11th hour I would not be able to drive or sit down in it! So I pulled out an old faithful from a few years ago and will start R & D earlier next year!

It's hard to say which Ashley is more afraid of, the birds or the baby?

The scariest thing of all however is this......

All the right moves.

Not one to let decapitation ruin his day, Piglet diligently worked on his tan.

I feel like a part time resident at 1000 Peaks, as lately I've been there a lot practicing turning my board to the right. On the right turn scale I'd say I've made it to veering toward...... which is progress indeed. In fact yesterday I was twice able to turn enough to stay on the wave with another paddler by changing direction. Satisfying, would be an understatement.

An advanced student.

Ufff, just looking at this gives me elevator stomach.

Meanwhile, Renata, Meesh and me clearly enjoying each other, our beers and an in depth bra conversation. Cheers!

Two non-working days.

It's been a beautiful weekend on the Valley Isle with a south swell drawing distinguished men (and woman) of all ages to the water. Personally, I got spat out almost as soon as I entered the water, low tide, a 10ft board and my talent are definitely not a match.

But hey, it happens to the best of us, two words: not positive.

The plump pumpkins are betraying the time of year, for without them you'd never know it was an autumnal October day. Confession, those of us who live in perpetual sunshine gloat (ever so slightly) when it's gorgeous here and ya know, praps not so fabby on the mainland.

A flat tire on my bike prevented me from increasing my heart rate via a casual Sunday morning ride, but all was not lost. I hopped in my truck and headed to Grandma's for breakfast where I downed a large latte that did the job for me!

You'd be forgiven for thinking I was at a La Liga match watching Barcelona, (ah la fantasia), but no....

....it was the free Ukulele Festival, show casing many of Maui's keiki.

Talking of which, I attended a home brew tasting last night where one of the brew masters was actually a brew teenager and (once again) men wore lederhosen. With a weekend like this, there's no need for Europe for a while, Prost!

Back to my routine.

I saw a high speed chase on the water yesterday. Right in front of me a little mother of pearl fishy flew out of the ocean, pursued excitedly by a stunning long nosed, blue bellied, tail flipping, ruler lengthed fish. They skimmed over the ocean just the way you want your flat stones to, but mo' better. I watched until they disappeared from sight and became giddy from the magical show "wow"-ing out loud, until the next wave came along and made me giddy for another reason.

Did I mention it's good to be home?

Earlier in the day I'd paddled out at Kanaha when a bloke came over nonchalantly on his SUP. "Hey my buddy just had a 10ft tiger swim right under his board, so we're all going in". "Bloody hell, thanks for the heads up", I said and got back to shore dry as a bone. All lubed up but not ready to give up, I jumped in the truck and headed to the West Side and scored some perfect little waves.

Never say never, but I can say I'll never get barreled....except outside of HighTech.

Longing for London.

......well it would have been, had I moved my water bottle ever so slightly to the right.

Quite the juxtaposition.

For the umpteenth time that day, the elderly gent who collected three pounds from anyone who wanted to climb up The Monument heard the same droning question, this time from me, "how many steps is it to the top"?, "311", he said. Go on, guess my next question because this poor man must hear this all bloody day long, altogether now; "how long does it take"?, "takes me five minutes", he said, and with that the gauntlet was thrown.

While I left Jules having a swift half at the bottom, I cockily said to Gramps "time me", "no need" he said, "I'll see you when you get to the top, give us a wave" and with that I confidently took two stairs at a time, until I couldn't. It took me about 5 minutes with the added bonus of feeling slightly queazy at the top, where I waved weakly.

Trying (as one does) to eat St.Pauls, where we whispered in her gallery and viewed London from just below my boob!

Gotcha!

"I don't wanna worry you girls or nuffin", said cockney Rob as we whizzed up The Mall in his cab, "but this is what I'm reading right now"!

11:00pm Piccadilly Circus. If it weren't for the fact that it was dark, lit up like Blackpool Illuminations and a woman was puking from too much booze behind a phone box, it might have well been 11:00am. Busy is an understatement.

I've been lazy and dragged out these posts as we were just in London for a week. It was way too short a time and the days simply weren't long enough to fit in everything that my mind wanted to do. Still, I left deeply satisfied and thirsty for more, Perfect water anyone?

Keep your Eye on the ball.

The beauty of London is that no matter where you go, you stumble across the sights, old and new. I wasn't pulled to go on the Eye but oddly it's become as big an attraction as any in the city.

The karma gods were shining on us as my friend Jane (four days prior), had just moved to London from her home in South Africa. We used to work together on Maui and it had been seven years since we'd seen each other, I think it's safe to say only she has aged!

Meanwhile, (when in Rome) Jules and I were determined to see a footy match and as luck would have it Chelsea V QPR were playing in the Carling Cup. While we couldn't get decent tickets on line, we went with the high intention of scalping good seats, which we did. The elderly chap who sold us our contraband not only got his cash but grateful kisses (he warned Jules not to slip him the tongue) and we joined the heaving masses to watch the beautiful game.

A bold warm up manouver in front of 37,000 people.

Gotta protect ya lady bits in the wall.

A couple of things struck me. Stamford Bridge holds 42,500 people, but if we hadn't glanced to our left whilst going to dinner the night before, you wouldn't even know a stadium was there. No signs, no shops selling merchandise, no indication in the tube station and I loved that lack of advertising. Upon exiting Fulham Broardway station on game night the contrast to the previous evening was insane. Streets were blocked off, police were everywhere in riot gear and on horse back and yet, one block off the main drag we stood and drank a beer and short of peeps wearing Chelsea kit, you wouldn't even know a game was on.

Inside it was a sea of testosterone, fueled by passion and rivalry. I felt the need of a hymn sheet as the singing was non stop, coupled with humorous gesticular goading. Waaaaaaay fun and with the lure at half time of a pie and a pint for six quid, the experience just kept getting better. Oh....and not to mention the ladies loo was not only empty but had Dyson airblades, bloody luxury!

We stayed until the final whistle and figured the journey home would be interesting (to say the least). In a exiting wave of people we surfed down to the tube and squashed ourselves on to the first train which arrived in minutes. We stood armpit to armpit with other library quiet, civilized and extremely well behaved fans and then changed lines at a heavily policed Earls Court. Our next train also arrived within minutes and was half empty and to our total astonishment we found ourselves putting the key in our front door not 15 minutes after leaving the stadium. The staggeringly well organized crowd control that gave me hope the Olympics won't be a complete balls up (no pun intended).

All the world's a stage.

"It's beautiful", said Jules "if you've never been, you've got to go". Well with that endorsement we zoomed off to Stratford-Upon-Avon to see Anne Hathaway's cottage. "Did it hold up to her description"? I hear you ask. Well, it did, but while the cottage and grounds were picturesque there was tinge of British naffness attached to the whole experience. For example; we couldn't locate the 'sound system of Shakespeare quotes' as we sat in the garden arbor. "But wait fair maiden, what's that in yonder corner"?, "tis a Tupperware box is it not"?, "make haste then friend and bust it open"! Bloody hell we laughed our arses off as we broke into the box and pushed 'play' on the ancient tape recorder, which barely played anything audible from the one sad little speaker. British ingenuity at work!

However, the cottage was a veritable haven in comparison to the Americanized exhibit that is Shakespere's birthplace. Interesting yes, well maintained yes, helpful staff...very, but it just didn't feel right that this historical site had become 'attractionized'. Let's just say it wasn't our cup of tea and worst of all, I bought into it (let me confess right now) and overpaid for a Shakespeare Christmas ornament! Agh....

What are a pair of girls to do but go to 'The Old Thatch Tavern' for lunch and order EVERY appetizer on the menu!

The next day, assuring ourselves that we'd now stick to our tired and true 'follow your nose' plan, we found ourselves much more at home on the Portobello Road.

As we sipped coffee we leisurely meandered in and out of some proper fabby antique stores. We perused the market stalls, all the while eavesdropping on conversations spoken in every accent under the sun and generally basked in being tuned in, tapped in and turned on.

Talking of antiques.......

We had to do it....

All I can say is this, if you're in London I highly recommend you go and make a fool of yourself to get this idiotic iconic picture. As traffic is constantly being halted by fake nitwit crossers (as shown above), the laughs at yourself and others are totally worth the humiliation.

I couldn't have said it better myself!

London and Windsor.

Despite the Mercedes Benz Jules had rented and parked in front of our flat, it took the purchasing our Oyster cards to make us feel like we'd 'arrived'. However, using it took careful observation of another commuter to figure out how to swipe it (we are indeed strangers in our own land). Yes, yes we all know, mind the bloody gap!

The Long Walk at Windsor was one of our few 'must do's'. It's a three mile stroll from the castle to the statue of King George III and as we walked in a delightfully empty park, I believe the potency of our contentment (for a moment) made the whole world a more peaceful place.

Spectacular.

Polo anyone?

As luck would have it, we started our return journey as the only working hackney cab in the park came clopping up behind us. "Can we grab a ride" I asked...."well, I am a taxi" he said. "how much then"? we asked, "Twenty Quid", he replied and with an unspoken unequivocal yes, Jules and I climbed into a 100 year old horse drawn cab and 'lady mucked' our way back into Windsor.

We'd been fantasizing about the perfect man and possible perfect park moments, but hadn't had the foresight to conjure up this spectacular experience.

One last look......

After buying provisions grown on the castle grounds at the Windsor Farm Shop, we hopped off the bus in Eaton to browse through the antique stores, sip beer by the river and congratulate ourselves on a magnificent day. Jules will be going home with a Victorian bread board and myself, a silver tipped cane!

Back in London after a hard days meandering we pondered if we should have a Snog, but decided against it.....down boys!

Yorkshire pride.

Yorkshire is brilliant. It's as rough as it is smooth, as beautiful as it is plain and more than anything it's real. It was a great week filled with simple family visits, amazing walks and runs in the park, together with the merging of my palate as a grown up with my taste buds as a spog. Yes, yes, yes, gray is the cliche colour for English weather but when the sun comes out.......well......you have to be here to delight in the jewels that are illuminated by the late morning sun.

I walked into the green grocers and what hit me was the wondrous smell.......Jesus, it's been years since I smelt veggies as good as those. In comparison, Safeway is just a sanitised odor free zone of cleaned, packaged and ready made food. Convenient for sure, but the olfactory joy of sniffing out what you want to eat is hard to beat.

Nature doing it's thing.
A ginger inspired Rooney....bless.

Ducking for cover.
Mummy in the zen of her embroidery.

Anyway.....I have left the tranquility of the North and headed down South (like a migrating Loiner) to London. I can't bloody wait to trog around some of my old haunts, catch the tube, gasp at the architecture and have a damn good time with my best mate Jules.

Sunday times.

Sunday Lunch at the Windmill in Linton. Sausage, chips and a rocket salad, washed down by half a John Smiths, Ladies and Gentlemen, it doesn't get any better than that.

This scene reminds me of a painting by Constable, but instead of a classic painting it was just a field on a post lunch walk with my bro through Hettchel Woods.

Here we are playing silly buggers with the self-timer.

Caught in the act of jumping for joy.

Good grief it's pretty here.

Later in the afternoon I ran into this octopus tree and I want it to be friends with the rainbow eucalyptus.

Test driving the senior transport!

First Class Virgin.

With the UK being my destination, I always enjoy the departure lounge part of the journey, as the ratio of British to US accents starts tipping in favour of the old country (and that mysterious 'u' starts reappearing in my spelling).

Having been born in the sixties in the UK, the class system is still on my hard drive. Standing in the Virgin Atlantic queue (who's directive was 'Upper Class'), the fist 20 years of my youth arose to remind me I was sneaking into an area where, according to my accent and upbringing I didn't belong. Luckily after 28 years of living in the US I didn't give a shit and felt completely deserving! Yet I did ponder later 'would I have felt that way had the airline not been British'?

When the stewardess asked me quietly “Is this your first time in Upper Class”?, I blurted “yes, it is, does it show”,?! “no, no”, she assured me as we chuckled, “we ask everyone, so we can familiarize you with the in-flight chair and entertainment system”! Phew, and I thought she had spotted the impostor! (With apologies for the blurry turbulence enhanced picture-hic!).

The green and pleasant land.

How to pick up girls from Leeds...

Tempting Heathrow.....very tempting.

I had partaken in the joys of free beer and Earl Grey at the Upper Class lounge at LAX. However, I had also found myself behaving like an urchin from the street, 'steeling' a complimentary granola bar and apple for the harsh reality when 'poof', 10 1/2 hours later at LHR I'd be back to my regular middle class life.

As fate (or karma) would have it, about an hour after landing and whilst awaiting the 15:30 train to Leeds, I found myself at a waiting-room-less Kings Cross Station, sitting cross legged on the floor and eating my stolen apple. A first class act all the way.

Lahaina Pali Trail

"That thing is so ugly", I remember thinking when I first drove by the net curtain that hugs the cliffs as you drive toward Lahaina. However, over the years I've come to appreciate this chain link armor that protects the main artery road, connecting the West side to the North Shore.

It's quite a feet of engineering, bolted into the side of the mountain and draped lovingly over the voluptuous curves of the hill side.

Inspired by a bunch of friends hiking into the crater this weekend for an overnighter, I decided a good walk in the wilderness was on the cards, (or perhaps I just needed the validation that I'm not a strenuous hiker chick?).

" The Lahaina Pali Trail is an old Hawaiian horse and foot trail built in the early 1800s. The trail was used as a more direct route across the arid southern slopes of the West Maui Mountains, connecting Lahaina and Olowalu with Maalaea and Wailuku. There are two trailheads that zigzag up the mountain, crossing ridges and gullies to the 1,600-foot ridge."

The views were amazing, nice downwinder on a flat day.

My goal was to reach the 20 wind turbines at the top of the ridge. As I huffed and puffed my way up the hill I decided this was close enough to tick the 'I got to windmills' box!

The turbines spin independently of one another, but for a few joyful revolutions these three were in perfect sync. It was a 'Christopher' moment of pleasure....(the protagonist of 'The Curious Incident Of The dog In The Nighttime').

It's a wonderfully baron and wind swept place and for the most part I had the journey to myself.

Shade was in short supply so these kiawe trees were more appreciated than those whose thorns stick in my feet at Kanaha.

The 10:00 am snorkel.

Not to be outdone by the tourists on the 'Four Winds', upon returning to my truck I pealed off my sweaty gear in favor of a clean bikini and was in the water within minutes. Ahhhhhhhhh never had a quick dip been more appreciated and as the hike was rated 'difficult', I'll also say deserved! Thank f**k I didn't hike the crater (but damn I hate missing out on a good time)!

Book Club Bliss.

'Tis that time of the year (again) when the annual migration of avid readers descends out of the clouds and into the bliss that is the cabin at Poli-Poli.

Nancy to Sharon, "honestly-it was this big"!

The evening light at the cabin was ridiculously gorgeous. Not having seen each other for a few months as women do, we clucked and hugged, convened around the BBQ catching up on each others journey..... so far and fully appreciating our surroundings.

I'd say gratitude was the common feeling among us as we nestled in to our electric free cabin life. We had nutritious and alcoholic provisions for days and like a well trained regiment, we all got on with what had to be done, chipping in, doing our part and allowing the gathering to naturally unfold.

Bloody hell girls, it doesn't get much better than this. Oh wait......there was the satellite and shooting star watching, 'Thriller' at dinner dancing and enough laughter to sustain everyone until our October meeting.

The walking stick.....

All feeling rather pleased with ourselves having just picked this upcoming sessions books. It'll be out little way of helping the economy, Amazon here we come!

The French Connection.

Having ridden up from sea level at 6:30am on Sunday morning, the first aid station for Cycle to the Sun is at 3,200 ft. It's lovingly run by Jami & Nancy, this year sporting the apropos theme of

the Tour de France.

It's good clean fun to wake up early, put on your best Le French togs and hand out libations with a friendly 'Salut'. Our aim was to add a smile to the faces of the 170 Mesdames et Messieurs that found it in themselves to ride to the top of Haleakala.

No baguette was safe.....!

Our host and hostess demonstrate the versatility of this long and narrow loaf! Note; the lady in the background was simply a well dressed impostor.

Later, inspired by all that stamina I went for a short ride from my house. One of these days I'll have to try a road bike because it's inconceivable to me how people can ride for so long.....praps I should take heed of these wise words from MC Spandex!

Au revoir.

Soft pedaling,

All forms of transportation have their perks and for me, my bike provides the freedom to explore, while getting a workout and the joy of being able to carry my camera. Tootling along the road to Hana I jumped off when the urge grabbed me for a closer look at nature's fantastic creations.

'ohhhhhh look down there!"

Sean Penn said of Alaska, "I'd never seen anything like it, it was like nature on steroids". I say Hawaii is a bit like nature on pakalolo.

I rest my case.....

These old irrigation ditches divert water from the East Maui water shed to quench the thirst of the sugar industry and upcountry residents like myself. The first 17-mile leg of a 74-mile ditch system was organized in 1874 and as we all know everything is connected. So the consequence of me having water in my taps is that native species that lived in the once abundant streams and taro farmers and residents of East Maui are (to put it mildly) parched.

Drat and double drat, what happened? I was having such a nice time showing you nature and all of a sudden man comes along and puts his big foot in it and I can't help but tell it like it is.

OK-wait, here's a nice bridge that man built so we can do some things right.....right?

....though you have to admit it pales in compassion to this bamboo forest. When driving I always anticipate this vista as it never ceases to take my breath away. With pedal power I was able hop off the saddle and really take a moment to soak in the wiggly panorama. BTW, did you know the word 'pedal' has it's origins dating back to the 17th century and comes (of course) from the latin word 'pedalis' or 'a foot in length'.

Okey-dokey now everyone take a big inhale of the delicate fragrance of the lovely ginger which accompanied me, along with the aroma of squashed guava whose pulpy roadside guts will make a delicious meal for someone I'm sure.

As I headed home I thought "you know you're in Hawaii when...."

Giraffe views

At 3pm on Friday I sent an e-mail to my business partner "is it ok if I sneak off"? I typed, "of course", came her generous reply and 10 minutes later I was laying here on the beach reading and wondering why I don't play hooky more often?

Majestic Maui.

Now, let's get down to the serious business of giraffe drawing. There's a comical website that was created out of a bet between friends, a gauntlet was thrown that one million Giraffe's can (or cannot) be created and collected by 2011. Nothing can be made on the computer, infact that's part of the goal..... to pry us away from our screens and play the old fashioned way. Here's my entry along with another goody, another and yet another. Check out the statistics and random Giraffe selection of bottom their site, good clean dumb fun and yes, I know I have too many brushes. Just one more........PS

Tropical Depression.

"Ok-my emergency bag is packed, I've got adequate supplies, the decks are cleared and the server at work is backed up", I said to myself on Monday "now", I thought "all I can do is surrender". I'd been a busy bee (ok possibly a bit manic) as slacking off was just not my thing when Hurricane Felicia, wait Tropical Storm Felicia, wait, Tropical Depression Felicia was heading Maui's way. Friends were not sure whether to mock me or feel sorry for me......they all veered toward the former.

Talking of mocking and depression......"In my world hell has officially frozen over", I said to the lady from whom I'd just purchased my latest pair of sandals. Not exactly CFM's but my feet love them.

Anyway-there's nothing like dodging a weather bullet to make you grateful for where you live...... and for your Birkenstocks.

Birthday felicitations.

I like back stories to iconic photo's, here's a good one from the Beeb. Even better, here's the real deal to match the sound track that's now playing in your head.

Bike bliss.

I awoke early to ride my bike up the best part of Waipoli Road. It's a brutal start with no flat part to warm you up.....just immediate incline.

However, I was spurred on by my new 'go faster' shoes on their inaugural outing. These guys did it in 6.5 minutes.....it took me about 40!

There's a peace in the world before it wakes up and if you couple that with the special feeling of just you the cows, birds, flowers, trees and clouds........well it's a magical recipe for a great ride.

The grasses and petals were still heavy with dew and I rode in and out of cloud banks, all the while with a steady cadence propelling me upward.

A cattle grid might stop cows, but it did little to stop this glorious beauty from taking root.

And talking of roots....look at this comedic carrot that showed up in a bunch from the farmers market. Bless.....I didn't have the heart to eat him, yet!

Oahu (again)!

I popped over to Oahu (again) this last weekend and am so glad I did, because I ran into the penguin pidgin!

Ala Moana beach park was full of bright umbrella colors on a hot and muggy day.

One way to cool off.

Here's another.....fly to Molokai, camp over night, jump on a SUP or paddleboard at 6:00am and cross 32 miles of choppy, currenty, swelly, windy open ocean to Oahu! That's what 120 teams and individuals did on Sunday morning for the Rainbow Sandals Molokai to Oahu paddleboard race.

Including our very own Michelle Crompton who along with her team mate Yves, completed this insane challenge in 6hrs 23 minutes. It was the first crossing for both of them and they came in well ahead of over half the pack and (I believe) 2nd in their mixed team division. Un-bloody believable. The fastest time was 4hrs 45 minutes and the slowest 9hrs and 8 minutes. Here's Meesh who swam across the finish line (as one does), as Yves brought their 16ft paddleboard home.......trust me all competitors did not look this good!

Phew-it's enough to induce a nap in the best of us.

Telluride

Our next destination beckoned and as we blazed by Ralph Lauren's Double RL Ranch (above) we reached Telluride by lunchtime and snagged our campground spot, #19 abutting the babbling river. “Let's pitch the tent later guys, it's time to go and rent bikes” said Michael, no argument from us girls on this one! At the mountain base by the free Gondola we lathered on free sunscreen and drank some free water before loading ourselves and our bikes into the vertically moving capsules.

"Say cheese".

I was becoming a broke-back record, "OMG it's so beautiful" or "unbelievable" or "this is absolutely stunning" or "you've got to be kidding me" or "so lovely" were (by this stage) so overused I was boring myself. But people look at that view.... "unbelievable"!

What a blast we had flying down the single-track trails with their gaping vistas and abundant aspen groves. From the woods we'd burst on to this famous mountains winter ski runs, resplendent in their green summer grass attire, it was like seeing them at low tide.

Canada geese heading.........well I'm guessing to Canada.

Mountain Village provided rest, iced coffee and cheap child entertainment.

As the clocks don't change in Hawaii we don't get the benefit of the long summer nights that I enjoyed in Colorado. Constantly tricked by the light, I felt like a kid who was getting to stay out well past her normal play time, 'twas heaven.

In case you were wondering "are those rumors about the Colorado wild flowers true"......yes ma'am they are.

Arriving back at base camp dirty and happy, we pitched our tent and duly rode right back into town without a wash or a change. We ate a fantastic dinner (outside, you'll be glad to hear) and Michael did a great pitch job by giving away our last piece of pizza. After duly inspecting the one lonely slice of Margarita, the lucky winner picked up her prize and walked out of sight around the corner. Our triumph was short lived as she then proceeded to dump the tasty triangle into the trash (little did she know inch high private spy Lehua was watching)! And who says there's no such thing as a free dinner?

Dessert anyone?

One of the Alta Lakes.

Telluride trails have a little marker on them indicating bikers, hikers, skiers and dogs are all welcome. That's terrifically refreshing from the 'no no no' mentality that is pervasive in the Islands. There are 'pick up' stations along the scenic pathways in case you forget your dog poo provisions and I didn't see one piece of litter on any of the trails we ventured onto, or in town. There's a consciousness here that's been set by the residents giving a friendly 'thumbs up' to everyone, along with an unspoken agreement requesting that you play well with others and respect the land...and it works. Nice recycling job.

On our last morning after de-camping we squeezed in one more ride and then reluctantly turned in our bikes. Our two day adventure was an ongoing visual monkey swing from one glorious view to the next. Michael was the consummate social director and Lehua an easy going and adventurous romping companion. As for me........Veni, vidi, apprezzato....I came, I saw, I appreciated.

Happy campers.

“Tents arrived', yelled Michael and with that Lehua and I packed our bare necessities and headed out onto the San Juan Skyway for a few nights camping,

Heading up the scenic road to Silverton, we stopped at the old Stream Train and asked Casey Jones for his picture.

Father and daughter enjoying lunch by the river.

We headed up out of Silverton on the Alpine Loop to Animas Forks. These old mining towns have tons of character and you can't help but ponder the difficulties they must have endured in the early 1900's, as journey in 2009 in the luxury of a Range River was not exactly an easy one!

If these were Chalets instead of mining ruins I'd swear I was in Europe.

After the beauty of our 11,200ft vista with it's rolling green hills, rushing waterfalls, pockets of snow pack and wild flowers I thought we'd peaked for the day in the visual department. "You've got to be kidding me?" I said as we headed down the Red Mountain Pass. Not yet getting it, I kept my mild cynicism to myself when Michael told me we'd soon be entering “The Switzerland of America”, bloody hell, wrong again! The setting for the town of Ouray was unbelievable and totally worthy of it's cheesy label and while we checked on the local camp grounds, concrete platforms for our tent and clothing optional hot springs didn't fit our picture of a family summer camp.

However, we struck gold at Ridgeway and after our camp fire dinner, Lehua entertained and educated us by reading from “Why go dogs do that?"

You can take the man out of Durango.......

Wildlife at it's best, Chipmunks rule.

Family day at the lake.

Short of toys, Floyd and Michael are not. Today it was the boats turn to bring us all joy.

Floyd officially has 'hat hair'.

Me & Michael showing pre ski confidence.

Jiminy cricket hopped on board for a rest.

Speed is not my thing, but being at the helm of the boat on a wide open empty lake was definitely a thrill.

Lehua has her first taste of water skiing and got it in no time at all.

Having not skied in 22/23 years it showed, but we were all equal fodder for a good laugh.

Unclear if Steve is being extremely cool or about to go down (my guess is the latter).

Steve and Lehua cooling off.

The boys relaxed as our eleven year old pilot took us home.

Durango days.

My digs (above) are amazing and I'm defiantly living the good life on my friends horse ranch.

I feel calm and tranquil here. For a visitor that doesn't have to clean the tack room, help move the manure hill, buy the supplies, check on the brood mares, exercise the bull, move the cattle, feed the ducks/geese and daily move 50 bales of hay to feed the horses, it's a dream vacation!

During these first few days I've had some powerful upwellings of pure joy and it made me realize I'd come to Durango with expectations. Even though I know better (keep your expectations low) I'd imagined that I would have those feelings, but I no idea they would come with such intensity and consistency. This view is from a hike up in the Aspen groves and looks down onto the ranch below.

Idillic.

After a morning hike, an amazing lunch and an afternoon nap (for me) it was time to saddle up. Chico is the gentlest of their horses and perfect for a newbie like me. We wandered up hills in thigh high grasses spooking deer and chipmunks alike. "Lets gallop" said Michael "I'm not sure about that I replied", "It's way easier than trotting" he said and with that we headed into a small arena. With my helmet on, Chico took off and I have never felt anything like it. In that first moment of speed I got why people love to ride. There was such grace and connection that I teared up and did it again and again and again (both the galloping and the crying)!

Explaining myself to 11 year old Lehua later, she quizzed me "did you gallop or lope"? Bloody hell, I thought, in my imagination I galloped like the wind, but now I'm guessing I loped...what ever that is?! I'm sure when we ride again she'll whiz by me in a blur and demonstrate my options!

Coors Light and a game of pool anyone?

Yes, that's me with two left feet doing the dreaded western dancing-praps if I get a Cowboy hat I can hide my shame under it and loosen up a bit more?

First day of vacation.

"On the road again......just can't wait to get back on the road again" ahhh the joys of paradise. Only one thing wrong with this picture, I'm supposed to be in Durango! Unforeseen circumstances cancelled my 10:40pm flight last night and at 1:30am I gratefully climbed back into the clean sheets of my own bed, that I'd so thoughtfully prepared for my return.

Assuming they'd received last night's text's I called my friends in Colorado to explain further, just as they were driving into the airport to pick me up! Unbeknownst to me "delayed flight-will miss connection" and "flight canceled will call in the 'am" were sent to an inoperable phone. "No prob, we had reservations, so we'll just go to lunch without you" they said, "see you tomorrow". Then I then called my Maui friend Cheyenne and off we went to breakfast!

Post breckie I found myself in the wonderland that is Mele Ukulele.

You find an Uke you like and hand it to this handsome gent, Uncle Peter who plays it with love and lets you hear if it's a match for you. Here's a nice youtube clip I found of him.

2:00pm zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

July 4th celebrations.

What better way to celebrate July 4th than to dress like Germans and celebrate Ulli's 4oth birthday?!

"Looks like the beer fest turned into a queer fest" was Ulli's quote of the night. Here we have the Lufthansa flight attendant showing the St.Appalling girl how ze Germans fly ze planes.

The flags were flying.

Even the Berlin Wall showed up, West in the front, East in the back!

The Heffeweisen and Jagermeister were flowing and there were plenty of beer girls in the garden (most of them drinking not delivering the beer), it was every German for himself in that department.
We're a camera shy bunch.

Our host and hostess.

The morning after the night before, Ulli realizes life really does begin at 40!

Gifts of Aloha.

Joel puts a heart on top of every coffee he makes and in the process spreads his own magnificent variety of love and aloha. Even with the knowledge that my coffee will be given (what feels like) extra special attention, I still anticipate the little upwelling of joy it gives me.

Having placed his order, Rover patiently awaits his double shot skinny soy latte with a extra foam (and heart).

For cheap entertainment I shared my peanut butter and honey sandwich with the birds. This greedy little Myna got a bit more than he bargained for!

Our Cardinal here wasn't so lucky in the lunch department but with looks like these, he probably doesn't care.

Talking of good looks, here is the lovely and talented Phoebe Lane who just turned seven and is the owner of her very first windsurf harness! Go Phoebe Go! Unfortunately, after three weeks holiday on Maui she has to take her parents back to Australia, but not before we all hung out and had a fantastic dinner together.

As a funny aside the prized and much appreciated gift of Tim Tams that were transported all the way from Adelaide were first breached that evening by Giampaolo. Next day my friend and IT Guru was over at the house sorting out my new MAC (another story) and knowing there was Baci from Italy and Lindt from Switzerland in the fridge I told him "help yourself to the chocolate". As I walked in the house and we chatted about computers he suddenly interrupted me "Oh my god those biscuits", "what biscuits?" I asked, "that open packet in the fridge - they're amazing". "AHHHHHHHHHHHH, NO how many did you eat?" I yelled frantically, alarm clearly registering in my voice. His eyes widened "well it was almost three, but I stopped myself at two"! As there are just nine to a packet and I promised to share with Meesh....I savoured my one and duct taped the rest closed for safe delivery!

Here's Meesh and her bro Mark blissfully unaware of the Tim Tam drama up the hill, praps if I delivery them once Mark returns to the UK (tomorrow) I can scarf his? Mchumbie.....this one's for you!

Two Oahu.

Hand stands are what he did whilst waiting for the wave to come barrelling along the side of the cliff. Then he dove confidently into the belly of the swell, getting caught (fish like) in its undulation.

He wisely avoided the waves that would spit him out like a snapped twig, back onto the rocks.

My soles view of a passing squall.

"Look right!" I wanted to say as these ever so serious Segway riders glided by. These things are super fun, praps the collective gravity was due to the herd like mentality required of such tours?. Or maybe they just didn't appreciate being 'papped'?.....

...no matter, this was the gorgeous view to the right.

'Captivated' would be a good way to describe how this little one made me feel. Yes, she was at a pirates birthday party, yes, there were other kids her age to play with, but what she really liked to do was run along this tree branch, jump off, climb back on and start all over again. She was a fearless little warrier who was fully engaged in the moment and allowed that freedom by a Mum that let her roam, explore, fall and play at her own speed. Intuition and individuality perfectly balanced.

I mostly see these Cattle Egrets on Maui when I'm at the green waste section of the dump! It's an easy revolving buffet of fresh grubs and insects for these elegant birds to snack on. It took going to Oahu to finally get a pici and this little chap was working his tail off looking for bug grub.

It's so rewarding to step out into unfamiliar territory and see what's out there. Sure I've been to Oahu a bunch of times before, but there's always an adventure to be had or a new magical spot to find. I also enjoy the exercise of my own inner world, being more awake to my own desires and wishes, surrendering to the flow of the moment and knowing when enough is enough.

I was driving to work this morning and realized (disappointingly) I was back on automatic pilot, it must be time to shake up my routine at home a bit too. Hmmmmmm old habits die hard though and I'll mull it over with a Fernet-Branca.....

Oahu Northshore Tour.

"I can see Pipeline breaking on the webcam", said GP. Nuff said, we packed gear and lunch and hopped in the truck heading for the Northshore (cue theme to Endless Summer ).

But I'm getting ahead of myself.... welcome to Oahu. The contrast between the North and South shores is insane and it felt good to leave the 6 lane H2 Freeway and at Haleiwa be back on a single lane road. Launiakai was our first stop and from street the water looked tempting. It was a different perspective from the rocks however and I wouldn't have even wanted to wade in for a dip. Ufff, you just know there's a bomb over that peak!



Another Island, another gorgeous cove. As we headed up the hillside after a failed attempt to park at Waimea Bay GP exclaimed "look it's breaking", and it was! A deceiving little wrap around wave at the point jacked up out of no where and my eyes caught someone catching the substantial swell as we continued Northward.

Score! Pipeline was putting on a 'small' out of season show and what an impressive sight, but not nearly as impressive as this.....

.....total respect.

....ditto.

"Hey are you kids actually gonna go out , or just stand around looking pretty"?

Well, there's your answer. Still....it's probably a good idea to do a whole yoga class before before having a close encounter of the Pipeline kine. We instead grabbed a couple of $3 Veggie Burritos from the back of some dude's truck, threw lunch on the dashboard and headed onward (all of 5 minutes down the road) to Sunset Beach.

In comparison to Pipeline, Sunset breaks quite a distance from the beach, so I sat in the shade eating my tasty lunch and watched the surfers to my right. When I looked left I thought "now here's something you don't see everyday", a nice beach vase arrangement.

A birds eye view of Backyards.

The maps says "Sandy Beach -Body boarding for experts only".

They're not kidding...that lip is gonna land right on his head and so it is for all these waves. There's no escape and each ride ends in a monumental pummeling. This place was intense, not just for the power and ferocity of the shore break, but the vertical drops these guys took seemed impossible, plus as it was crowded as hell!

After watching everyone else on the water it was my turn. I hopped on the SeaLion and with the wind on my right paddled left for twenty minutes! Easy peasy, simple, beginner fun, a perfect end to a great day.

Southside Sunday.

On the return journey from the South side, I like to stop by Maleaa Harbor and see wazup. My meanderings are accompanied by a score of ropes rhythmically clanging on masts which (while on land) I find soothing. It's a fertile environment of birds, seaweed and ocean activity that provides me endless viewfinder entertainment.

I like the contrast of the lush plumeria above and the withering... what ever it is... below.

Both glorious and beautiful in their own right.

As is the coastline of this lovely little Island.

Manu, doing a manoeuvre.

Sunday afternoon a group of us organically convened at the beach and alternated between the bliss of the water and the sweltering heat on land. The English sat single file lathering on sun screen in what little shade the three leaves of an anorexic kiawe tree could provide. Meanwhile the French and the Aussies seemed to barely notice it was warm. Damn them!

And talking of the French, Manu and Pascal are both great water men and terrific hands-on froggy Dads. Their daughters Lulu and Mia (now both three'ish) were born 6 months apart and are not only the bestest of friends but also being brought up bilingual. Fantastique!

Matilda (an Aussie) napping....it's hard work being alive for four months.

Just ask Wixie, he's been alive for 32 years and is English! He's also vegetarian and that delicious looking veggie burger in his hand (no bun, no plate no condiments) was the combined culinary birthday offering from six of his closest mates. Our generosity knows no bounds!

Sea, surf, sky and cabbage.

I sit at a desk all day in front of a computer, so it's an amazing antidote to step out after work and get some fresh air. What's more extraordinary though, is that I don't do it more often. However, as the summer nights grow longer, my play gene has grown and requires more indulgence. So with my bike stowed in the bed of my truck, there were no excuses.

I confess to feeling a bit of a pillock clunking along the pebbles in my bike shoes, helmet and spandex (I'd ditched the bike further back), but what the hell - it's not like I'm going to run into anyone I know. "Hey you!" said Jenna, a fab woman from my book club "wotcha doing mountain biking out here?"! "Looking like a twat and not wanting to get noticed" I thought....but too late.

The south swell wasn't all it was forecast to be, but at 5:45pm the light and waves were entwined in their magical dance and I was captivated.

Let's hope duck diver boy doesn't have a bulls eye on his shorts!

Did I work today?

Rewinding back to the weekend and I was in the mountains again (no that's not me!) riding my bike part way up Waipoli Road toward Poli Poli. I say part way because the start is so steep I've convinced myself I could never make it, so I cheat and park at Frisbee Golf forest. It's a peaceful ride with just the bird song and para gliders for company. My time, 40 minutes up and 8 minutes down! "You've got legs of steel" said golf frisbee girl as she passed me post ride loading up my bike, was it wrong of me to not burst her bubble by telling her I'd had to stop twice on the accent?!

Coming back home though Kula there are many local small farms and I was caught by the symmetry of this humble cabbage patch.

Enough, enough, lets all paws for a tranquil thought or two.

Early bird.

My latest sleep pattern is to awake around 5:30am (waaaaaaaaaaay to early) but as I'm all sleeped out, there's nothing to be but get up. The tide was low at 7:00am this morning so a SUP sesh was crossed of the list and replaced happily by a bike ride.

I might have been up early, but as I strapped on my helmet and looked up, it was apparent this person was up much earlier.

"Blimey mate, you might wanna cut back on the sunflower seeds, you're looking mighty porky around the petals" I thought, as I'd peddled barely 2 minutes before dismounting to stop and snap this swollen sunflower. It's a stunning route from Rice Park to the end of Thompson Road that greets you with the incredible smells of eucalyptus trees and doesn't stop feeding the senses, including the sense of humor.......

.....quick, quick, somebody distract him!

Oh deer.

I stopped to feed the horses and was drawn to this one because of his long fringe and one empty socket. It made me think of a scene from The Diving Bell and The Butterfly, which is an extraordinary must see movie.

As I was in the neighborhood. I decided to pop in and see the ducklings and like any good Auntie my first thought was "my, haven't you grown?" .

Goodness gracious me.........having freckles I can relate to this one. And now for a duck joke: A duck walks into his local 7-11 and says "give me some chap stick and put it on my bill"!

My end.

Hot shots.

The old Paia Railway station building on Baldwin Avenue was awash with the afternoon light, flattering its already gorgeous color. It drew me in for a portrait, the results of which I was happy with, until I glimpsed myself in the window's reflection. Beginner mistake, now that's all I see!

The annual crab spider invasion continues. This one hitched a ride inside on my hair and when I pulled him off my follicles, I popped him on the keyboard (for later disposal) thinking he was dead. Imagine my post nap surprise when I flipped open my laptop (yes he had been sandwiched in hot plastic for a good 45 minutes), to find spiderman not only alive but suddenly repelling down the thesaurus on his own sticky life line, well done old chap! He won a return trip to the garden.

And talking of the garden, here's a visual tomato progress report and quick, quick, which is it............ a fruit or a vegetable?

Bloomin' cactus....... 

Oh happy day, after a month in the doldrums the wind came back for a quick visit, Lano.......keep your fingers crossed!

Heat wave.

Whilst I was out playing in the water, I stuck the bottle on the dashboard of my truck and let the tea brew itself. Not the milk and two sugars kinda tea you understand, but a herbal formula for coughs (ugh-huh)and 'twas delicious.

The long windless spell of Maui weather caught me in it's magic and I finally bought a SUP board I can call my own. "Look at you" I said to myself, "just an ordinary girl from Leeds, who'd have ever guessed this is how your life would turn out?". I've always enjoyed my own company, but these last few mornings gently paddling over the reef, catching small waves and chasing turtles have really been "how long have I been out on da water?" kinda fun.

You already know the coastline can look like this....

....but there's a lot of this too. No less beautiful, but the rugged outline is much harder to launch from.

Still, those rocks are handy for breaking open beach snacks.

Plus, mo'bettah for fishing.

Later, I sat at Paia Bay and enjoyed the slight onshore breeze that cooled me from the stifling heat of midday. I expectantly pulled out The Story of Edgar Sawtelle and devoured a couple of chapters, while watching the beach action (or lack thereof) go on around me. 

Three day weekends are good.

Upcountry to sea level.

This little house always looks so idyllic to me. It's actually part of the Tedeschi Vineyard property and I suspect it's appeal is partly due to it's age and construction. I miss very little of mainland life, but homes made of bricks and mortar can make me quite nostalgic. My house in comparison feels like one constructed by the three little pigs, it's all wood and sticks - a flimsy affair that the wolf could huff and puff and blow it right down.... if he wasn't busy with Red Riding Hood.

I popped over to the winery not to sample their wares, but to photograph the extraordinary Jade plant in bloom. It's conveniently located on a lovely arbor above their public loo's and for the record, Tedeschi has excellent latrines. It's always such a pleasant surprise to find a bathroom that someone has put thought into rather than provided by necessity. I shall have to add them to the sitorsquat.com website! TG: Take note, you can add this application to your iphone!

And while we're on the subject of toilets, take a moment and enjoy these fantastic creations. 

Sunday afternoon I perched on a cliff with a Jack Russell (whose name escapes me) and waited for the Olukai stand up paddle board armada to come by. Trade winds are your friends in these races as they push you from behind, however, we haven't seen those for about 2 weeks so peeps who did the race knew it was gonna be a slog from Maliko to Kanaha.

Cape Maliko-T minus 30 minutes.

90 or so paddlers were out on the water, including the amazing Michelle Crompton who despite a gammy knee and carpel tunnel syndrome made it look like a doddle. There was also Danny (what an athlete) Keevil, who'd been out on the piss 'training' the night before until 1am. As he drank his post race Coors Light he said "it's a sports drink," and inhaled deeply on his fag, I can't say he didn't earn either one. 

MChumbie here's your girl and three of her many fans, Melanie, our star, Renata and moi. Meesh even came first in her division of 35-39 on 12ft -ish board, nice one Cyril! 

Ducks and drakes.

The duck in question (and a couple of her feathered buddies) adopted my friends Jami and Nancy last year. They just showed up one day at their house and never left. Being the welcoming family that they are, J & N bought the ducks feed and a pool so they could live the good life. They are not penned in or kept in any way other than with love and the feathered ones wisely chose to stay and thrived.

They did what all ducks do and just a few weeks ago look what hatched!

Sweet, downy, absolutely cute as a button, ducklings.

Look at that little one in front resting his head on a handy yellow (brother or sister) pillow.

I was given visitation rights and snuck up to the house today for a gander. The Mum was as super cool and as I was super stealth. Taking the cue from their Mother, the chicks watched me with their beautiful ball bearing eyes. The Mum was taking no chances however and after a while left her clutch for a closer inspection of the disturbance.

I kept quite still as she came about half way between me and her offspring. I knew she was sussing me out and efficiency, with only a few ducky words she called to her chicks once she deemed it was safe for them to proceed.

Along they toddled at a leisurely pace with no panic or alarm to a safer spot, where no peeping Tomess could capture their images for her own amusement. I was foiled from any more paparazzi shots as they tucked tidily under the house and so I  departed as abruptly as I had shown up.

A bit left of center.

This was me today, feeling a bit ropey with a wicked sore throat so I took the day off to hang around, sleep and remain speechless.

There's been a lot of this going on, endless cups of warm this, that and the other. Then I read on the Internet that orange juice and cayenne pepper gargled for 15 minutes are a sure cure. Let me underscore for those who've not tried it that's a long time, so to amuse myself I gargled various show tunes and the British national anthem which (if I say so myself) was not a bad rendition.

Praps I should take a leaf out of my young friend Tess's book and sit in a small cupboard in a pink tutu with my back to the world until the storm blows over?

And finally,  on Sunday in a spectacular act of willpower, one of my freckles finally said “enough is enough” and off it went.........in to the great wide open, under them skies of blue, out in the great wide open, a freckle without a clue.